Kinky Sex

A guy walks into a bar and sits down to have a drink. There is a good looking wench sitting nearby. She looks at him a gives him a wink. He scoots over and offers her a drink, which she gratefully accepts. After a few mild pleasantries of conversation, the young lady mentions she is going through a divorce.

"You too?" says the man. Why are you getting a divorce?" "My husband thinks I am too perverted." was her reply. "What a coincidence - MY wife thinks I am too perverted!" he says to her. "She says I am too kinky when it comes to sex..." "Wow, my husband thinks the same of me, why don't we explore this kinkyness together?"

He agrees, they finish their drinks and leave the bar. Knowing neither can go to one another's house because of their pending divorces, they drive to a remote location where they can be alone. The woman becoming quite aroused, jumps into the back seat, and takes off her clothes in anticipation of what is to come... "Please hurry, I want to get kinky with you!" she moans from the back seat. She hears him fumble with his belt, and then hears his zip come down, then finally his pants coming down. Hardly able to control herself, she is somewhat surprised when she hears him pull his pants back up, then his zip, then his belt getting fastened.

"Hey, I thought we were going to explore our kinkyness here!?" she complained. "We did!" he says, "I just crapped in your handbag!"

The Last Fling

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been
dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one
little thing bothering me .. it was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight
miniskirts,and generally was bra less. She would regularly bend down when she was
near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts.
It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered
to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my! life to her sister. Well, I was in total
shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and
if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them
down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a
beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight
towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all
clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said,
"We are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't
ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car!