9/25/2007

Dildo Joke

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says

"Don't worry. That was an insect."

To which one of the boys replies "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

9/17/2007

Dildo Shop

A bloke starts a new job in a sex shop. His boss has to go on an errand, so leaves our man in charge of the shop floor for a while.
A black woman comes in and starts browsing the dildoes.
"May I be of assistance, madam?" enquires the bloke.
"Yes - how much are your dildoes?" replies she.
"They're all £35."
"In that case I'll have a white one. I've never had a white one before."
As she leaves with her purchase, in comes a white woman, who asks the same question and gets the same answer.
"I'll buy a black one," she says, "I've never had a black one before."
Then in comes a chav woman.
"Oiw, ow much are yee dildoes?"
"£35 for the white, £35 for the black."
"Ah okay. Ow much is tha tartan one on the shelf?"
"That's a very special dildo, madam. It's £165."
"I'll ave it," says the chav, and she leaves with her purchase.
The boss then returns and asks our man how he did. "Pretty damn well," is the reply, "I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I sold your Thermos for 165 quid."

9/05/2007

Genie Joke

A guy walks into a bar with a cork shoved up his arse.

The Bartender asks him how it happened so the guys sighs and says:

"Well, I was walking along the beach when I came across this magic lantern. I picked it up and started to brush off the dirt when all of a sudden this genie pops out.
The genie told me I could have three wishes and I said.. No shit!"