10/29/2007

God And The Blonde

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto."

Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. She again prays..."God, please let me win the Lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself..."Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket"

10/15/2007

Lace Knickers

Two guys in a health club, one is putting on lace knickers.

"Since when do you wear womens pants?"

"Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!"

10/01/2007

Crocodile At The Pub

A man walks into a bar with a crocodile, he asks the bar tender "Do you serve niggers?".

He responds "Of course, we're not a racist pub".

So the guy says "Right, i'll have a pint for myself, and a nigger for my crocodile!"