Dead Duck Joke

A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on the
table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the Bird's'
chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,
"I'm so Sorry, your duck has p assed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
Testing on him or anything. He might just be i n a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned A
few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind
Legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck
From top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook
His head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments
later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird.
The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly And
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said , "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
Is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in s hock, took the bill. "?150!", she cried -
"?150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry." "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would have been ?20,
but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now ?150."