St Peter at the Pearly Gates

Freddie Mercury, Versace and The Queen Mother arrive at the Pearly
gates. St Peter explains that only one can get through and that they
each have to put forward their case for entry.

Freddie says "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made some
mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most beautiful
music in the world. I'll stand at the back of heaven, and serenade
everybody with my wondrous songs, making heaven a far happier place to
be"

"Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you Gianni?"

Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I'll
completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels to the
cherubs to the choirboys. As you well know Pete if you look good you
will feel good and that will make heaven a much happier place"

"Not bad" says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mum?"

The Queen Mother doesn't say a word. Instead she lifts up her skirt
and pulls down her knickers, inserts a full bottle of Evian water into
her arse, lets the water shoot up inside her and then gush out all over
the floor.


"Excellent, you're in" says St Peter


"Hold on a fxxxxxx minute" says Freddie "She didn't even say anything"

"Fxxx off Fred", says St Peter, "you know the rules. A royal flush
always beats a pair of Queens...."