A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any f**king bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f**king bread, ask me
again and I'll nail your f**king beak to the bar you irritating bast**d of a
f**king bird!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?
7/18/2006
7/10/2006
A Short Woodpecker Joke
A Hawaiian woodpecker and a California woodpecker were
arguing about which place had the toughest trees.
The Hawaii woodpecker said Hawaii had a tree that no
woodpecker could peck.
The California woodpecker accepted his challenge, and
promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The
Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.
The California woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian
woodpecker to peck a tree in California that was absolutely
unpeckable. The Hawaii woodpecker expressed confidence
he could do it, so accepted the challenge.
After flying to California, the Hawaii woodpecker successfully
pecked the tree with no problem.
So the two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that
the Californian woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian
tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the
Californian tree, but neither one was able to peck the tree in
their own state?
After much woodpecker-pondering, they both came to the
same conclusion...
Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.
arguing about which place had the toughest trees.
The Hawaii woodpecker said Hawaii had a tree that no
woodpecker could peck.
The California woodpecker accepted his challenge, and
promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The
Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.
The California woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian
woodpecker to peck a tree in California that was absolutely
unpeckable. The Hawaii woodpecker expressed confidence
he could do it, so accepted the challenge.
After flying to California, the Hawaii woodpecker successfully
pecked the tree with no problem.
So the two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that
the Californian woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian
tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the
Californian tree, but neither one was able to peck the tree in
their own state?
After much woodpecker-pondering, they both came to the
same conclusion...
Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.
7/09/2006
Blonde Joke
The ventriloquist... with his dummy on his knee starts going through the usual dumb blonde jokes, when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you that keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that stupid little bitch on your knee!"
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you that keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that stupid little bitch on your knee!"
7/05/2006
A Short Dyslexic Joke
Two dyslexics travelling in a car together.
One turns to the other and says "Can you smell petrol?"
The other turns to him and says "Petrol? I can't even smell my name"
One turns to the other and says "Can you smell petrol?"
The other turns to him and says "Petrol? I can't even smell my name"
7/02/2006
A School Boy Joke
A man is walking past a primary school when he hears a very loud cry of '13! 13! 13!' coming from inside. wondering what the chanting is all about he finds a hole in the wall and looks through it. suddenly a small finger reaches from the classroom and pokes him in the eye. the kids then start chanting '14! 14! 14!'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)